I am not just the smile I wear to comfort you.
I am not just the quiet girl sitting in the corner observing the crowd.
I am tired. I am worn out.
I blissful. I am hopeful.
I run in fear.
I fight the good fight.
I am beautiful and ugly.
I am dark and light.
I struggle. I succeed.
I am merely me,
trying to remember that above all else —
I am love.
Can you see?
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One of the most painful illusions we all struggle with is that love is earned through appearance, through actions, through meeting certain expectations. I imagine we’ve all gone through points in our lives where we are trying so hard to be what others want, what society expects, that we lose track of ourselves. We invest so much energy in earning love and approval from others we forget that we first need to love ourselves.
Ah, loving ourselves. It can be a challenge, can’t it? It isn’t always easy to face that person you see in the mirror and say “I love you.” It can be down right hard. Because loving ourselves doesn’t mean loving the mask we present, but the real self. The real self is all our strengths and weaknesses. It is the self that can anger easily; the self that is scared; the self that is courageous; the self that is beautiful; the self that is cruel; the self that is tired; the self that is driven. If we struggle in loving ourselves, then we struggle in acting in an unconditionally loving way toward others.
The truth is simply this: We are love, and we are loved. Real love, true love, isn’t something that is earned. It is not conditional. Love is accepting and honoring another person as they are in this moment. It is setting aside a personal agenda and granting the other person freedom to be themselves. It is bowing to the Spirit, the God-force, within another and knowing they are inherently worthy of respect and love. This includes seeing this in ourselves too. We aren’t perfect, but we are perfectly where we need to be on our path in life.
There is a part of me that feels called by this idea, this truth of unconditional love. I feel its echoes in the song of birds greeting the dawn, my father’s heartbeat when I give him a hug, the laughter of my best friend. The universe is reminding me of this deep abiding love that surrounds us at all times. We need only pay attention.
So I long to become more attuned to this energy. Every day I try to strip away a bit of my armor, my fears. I work on treating my inner critic with kindness instead of being angry with her. I struggle to love myself better and heal. I want to get to a place where people feel unconditional love when they are around me. I want to become that person whose energy lifts people up and makes them see the good within themselves. I want to help create a world where all of us are so certain of the love that surrounds us, feels our inner worth so innately, that we never lose hope.
Never doubt that you teach people how to treat you. If you walk in your truth and love yourself, an amazing thing happens. You attract the love and respect of others because you are able to freely give those things. And those people who would treat you cruelly, who don’t respect you, who want you to react in the manner they desire will drop from your life because you’ve ceased to play their games.
So ask yourself:
Are you allowing your truth to be expressed? If there are areas where you are fearful, what tiny steps can you take to live more authentically?
Do you criticize yourself? Judge others harshly? What can you do to come from a more compassionate place?
What can you do to honor and love yourself? You’ve accomplished a lot in this life. Celebrate that.
Remember– we are here to recognize our oneness. We are here to learn to connect with that primal creative force that is our essence: love.
Great post! I think a lot of times we neglect ourselves in pursuit of what it is we think we want, and what we think we need. Gathering things, collecting clutter. We are all pack rats in some form or another. Some collect things, others collect lost seconds to lament. To truly love each other we have to learn to love ourselves. Now go give yourself a hug!
Thanks for wonderful comment, David, and for taking the time to read. {hugs} for us both.
I really love it when you post a new poem, complimented by such a meaningful insight to your work. You have thoughtfully and openly discussed a topic which many people are still in search of; ‘Unconditional Love’.
In the true sense of its meaning I personally believe that it is one of the most rarest and priceless senses known to mankind; if you are ever lucky enough to find not a pot of gold, but a pot of love that is unconditional, then you must treasure it above all else.
I also enjoyed the contrasting style in which you have written this piece; “I run in fear.I fight the good fight”. You have truly described what it is to be human.xo
Thank you so much, hon! I appreciate you taking the time to read this and for your lovely comment. It means the world to me. Much love to you!
I just thought you should know that you already are the person whose energy lifts people up and helps them see the good within themselves. You truly are a very bright light, my friend.
Thank you for this reminder. I am one of the most critical people I know…of myself. What I am finding is that if I allow myself to judge and be critical of me, I am inviting others to feel as though they can do the same. That simply won’t work, now will it?
Tiffany you are such an angel!! Thank you for that sweet comment.
Lark, I agree: Love the posts that start with a poem as a launching pad and then spin into prose thoughts. I love the content of this particular post, as well. I think one of the difficult tensions in managing to have faith in unconditional love is the depth of our experience of very conditional love (or worse), along with the doubts that we deserve it or ever could earn it. But of course, it can’t be earned; it’s all of grace, given freely. And then there’s the seeming tension between the uniqueness of each of us, and the commonality of each of us, too; we all share in that unconditional love to the extent we are able, and more so, to the extent we reach out for it, braving our fears of rejection. I thank you, again, for having the courage to put these thoughts out there, for inspiring us to do just that with your words. You never pave an easy path with your encouragements, but you do point us ahead to the path toward a fuller, richer, more rewarding life, and that is to be praised and encouraged itself! I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: thank you for sharing your gifts. There’s always healing to be had here, with you, and that you share it so freely speaks volumes about the spirit that moves through and beyond you.
I do not believe in coincidence..that is why I find it extra emotional finding this poem and post today. As I have, just this morning shared simular feelings with my closest confidant, a dear cousin. She understands the same. I am, right now sending her the link to this poem and post.
So wonderful and touching. I thought unconditional love existed until I lost my faith last October as it became obvious it couldn’t be real. BUT it does depend on the individual.